I am a magazine hound. I buy magazines and then I keep them for forever and a day. It isn't as bad as hording, but it can be annoying. I think I still have copies of Windows Sources magazine from 1991 where they bench mark a number of 386 computers and give you a sneak peak at the new line of 486 DX2s (sorry, geek moment).

Anyhow, I was looking through the April 2008 issue of Best Life and ran across an itty-bitty article on the bottom of page 48 called 'Tech-Savvy Seduction'. It listed 5 ways that Regina Lynn, the author of Sexier Sex: Lessons from the Brave New Sexual Frontier, suggests to make sex in our more mature years sexier.

1. Choose an IM screen name for your role-playing character (say Zorro69), then play out one of your wife's fantasies while you're at work or away on business
2. When you're out together at a party, send her a dirty text message like 'I can still taste you,' and then tell her what you're going to do to her when you get home
3. Using your camera phone, send images to her cell of unexpected parts of your body that she adores (say your earlobe or your anklebone)
4. Tell her an erotic story in installments throughout the day - on her voicemail. Cut it off before you reach the end and tell her you'll finish it in person
5. Take a picture of yourself and break it up into smaller images. Send her one a day. When she puts it together, she wins a prize: you, unwrapped

Having read that I wondered if, during my older years, I have lost the romance. OR, am I just more efficient?? After reading some of these suggestions I kept thinking to myself 'Wow, that takes a lot of time. Can't I just go and be nice and chat my wife up, give her a few suggestive kisses and then sail the salami boat to tuna town?'.

I can't speak for everyone because everyone's situation and lifestyle is different. Does this work? I mean, I'm not a complete Neanderthal but I feel like some of these suggestions seem a little risky to pull off OR my wife would wonder what the heck I'm doing and what was wrong with me.

Ultimately, it comes down to the question for us moldy oldies: after some time with your significant other how do you spice up your sex life? And how important and how difficult is that to do after you've had children?

Hello, old people. I'm filling in for badbart for a bit and keeping this rickety old Rascal of ours motoring along. Speaking of old, let me do what we old people do best: tell a story.

I have, like many of you, come to a point in my life where I've looked in the mirror and said "My God, what the hell happened?". Face it, as we age the older our body changes - the metabolism slows, the allergies grow and, without proper maintenance, the body starts to bloat. We all can't wear the skinny teenage girl dungarees that Father Ted wears. It is that maintenance part that prompts us to start working out after we've avoided the gym like the plague. Rather than continue being doughy, middle-aged frumps we strive to hold off the cold, bony grasp of death by doing cardio, lifting weights, changing our eating habits, changing our lifestyles.

We have, in effect, attempted to grasp at our youth as it slowly slips through our fingers.

However, has anyone tried doing type of cosmetic surgery for anything other than medical purposes? Let's say, oh, I dunno...for vanity's sake?

I will be perfectly honest with you, old friends (and when I say 'old', I mean by age, not necessarily the length of time we've known each other) - I have contemplated it. Here in Northern Virginia there is a place called Reveal which offers 'LipoShaping'. This is a process where they inject soy into parts of your body to help shape and break down fat.

Hey, I love my body. Frequently However, when it comes to vanity I have considered getting that extra little bit of help to reduce the size of my love handles. I tossed the idea in my head numerous times. And then I talked to my sister.

During a visit to my father's grave in Arlington Cemetery she asked if I had heard about mother's friend - let's call her Theresa. She was 34 and had 4 kids, the youngest being just over a year old. My Mom, who just turned 65, considered her a good friend and almost like a daughter. Theresa was like me in that she was concerned with her looks as she got older. She took every opportunity to go to spas, get mani-pedis, facials, etc., etc.

After popping out 4 kids Theresa was fed up with the effects it had on her body. Upon another friend's suggestion she elected to get a boob job. She didn't really research the doctors or the different procedures and went to someone recommended to her. A few days after her operation her husband went out fishing. While he was out he tried to call her and got no answer. When he finally got home from fishing he found her laying on the floor. By the time they got to the hospital she was pronounced dead.

The cause of her death? I've heard that it was an abnormal blood clot of some sort which was the result of her boob job.

What is the price of our vanity? With the constant inundation by the media of young celebrities with their anorexic cigarette and booze wracked bodies, how well do you cope with your self-perception?

Me? Well, I'm not getting soy pumped into me. That whole episode freaked me out. The thought that Theresa's husband is now a single parent of 4 completely gave me the willies.

If Megan Fox gets her wish, I'll soon have another DVD for my guilty pleasures collection (Domino, American beauty, Havoc, and Prozac Nation are also members of the collection).

There's certainly not a single reason for her to be ashamed of her body or to feel the need to cover it up, but...an entire film naked? Even Caligula and the raunchiest porn flicks I've seen have some clothed scenes.

She is a looker, no doubt about that.



(these are all pretty old photos of varying resolutions - some high, some low)

I doubt it will happen, but I'd certainly be anxiously awaiting it, if it did.

If you were a Playboy reader in the 90s, you might remember the big-lipped, ginormously-huge-breasted (reportedly all-natural) May 1996 playmate, Shauna Sand. Or you might remember her from her role on Renegade during her six year marriage to Lorenzo Lamas (if you're a chick...or Dean).

Shauna is turning thirty-seven this fall (in September) and apparently thirty-seven years on this planet and motherhood (she has three daughters) has taught her nothing about what the rest of us (well, except for pitchit) would consider tasteful, appropriate behavior. Britney and Lohan are still young and stupid, so their behavior can be written off to the idiocy of youth, but Shauna...not so much.




But as sad as her carelessness with keeping her remarkable body parts contained within her clothes may be, how would you like to be out shopping with your mom and her latest boy toy when she's dressed like this?




I'm all for hot chicks showing what they've got (whether they've got kids or not), but it just seems a little...improper to do it with the kids right there.


Or maybe I'm just an old fuddy-duddy.

Burn Notice starts its new season tonight.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the show, it's a USA network series starring a guy who plays a spy but looks like a farmer to me, Bruce Campbell and Gabrielle Anwar. It's about a spy who is blacklisted and then basically becomes a PI while working to clear his name.

I didn't have a DVR when the show started this past year and I'm terrible about consistently watching series that aren't on one of the big three networks, so I watched an episode when it started and then just kinda forgot about the show. And then I got my DVR and remembered about the show, so I added it to the schedule and caught up as a frenzied schedule of repeats filled my DVR and soon decided I really liked this show a lot.



Bruce Campbell isn't really the wise-cracking guy I expected him to be on the show (he is funny, just not to the same extent he usually is), but he's still the second most interesting person on the show. So who's the first?

Gabrielle Anwar



I don't know much about her except she's stick thin and despite her emaciation she still manages to be super-hot (she was a real cutie when she was younger, but age hasn't done much to diminish her cuteness).

Hot chick and Bruce Campbell aside, though, this is a good show. It's kind of like a modern day A-Team without the van (the main dude does drive a souped up muscle car, so there's still some car-appeal). And Tricia Halfert, the hot chick from Battlestar Galactica (another show that I totally failed to watch more than one or two episodes of), is on the premiere tonight (Lucy Lawless was on the show last season).

Oh, and the show is set in Miami, so they're always showing barely-covered bikini chicks lounging or waling around. Bonus!